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C-C-C-Jell-oooo
fleshballoon
8/29, 9:30AM: 57.5 hours down! 446.5 to go!

Today’s going to be a bit tougher than the last couple... I’m already getting phantom smells (cheese toast, in particular), so I’m thinking of lighting this honeysuckle candle. Hopefully it doesn’t smell too sweet and make me want something like that.

Excitement! Someone’s coming to see about Dad’s motorcycle. When he sells it, he’s going to give me money for rent and school. He’s selling it for 2000, so I hope to get at least 500-600. Ideally he would give me like 1000, but you know, he’s got his own expenses to consider. Anyway, at least once he gets some money I won’t feel bad about asking him for stuff. Like to take me to costco to get some cases of vitaminwater and smartwater, hehehe. He said after the dude leaves he’s going to make oatmeal... last night he made some kind of casserole with chicken and stuffing. I feel super guilty for not eating it, because I know how I feel when I make food and one (or more) of the people I made it for don’t eat it. I mean, I guess I could maybe just even tell him I’m on a fast, but I’m not sure how he’ll take it. Ahh... yeah, I’m having a pretty guilty-feeling morning. Basically anytime my dad seems really happy or excited about something I feel terrible. Also other times, but yeah.

Daaammn I’m cold! It is cooling down, you know, but... hey, you know what? That’s a fucking heater at the foot of the bed. I could just, um, turn it on, ha. Okay.

Yeah... I’m also thinking that even though the third day usually gets a faster over the ‘hunger hump,’ I might have a slightly longer struggle. I just have the impression that that is the case because I started fasting much more abruptly and from a much higher weight (by probably 50-60 lbs) than last time. But I don’t remember any of my reading that supports this. The only thing I know to support this idea is that every body is different. Um... oh, I got dizzy when I got out of bed today, but that’s alright. I was disappointed with last summer’s fast when I didn’t experience any kind of dizziness or weakness, but I’m not sure what it signifies ezackly.

So... I was reviewing my lj entries from last summer’s fast, and it looks like... it looks like I had some mild carb cravings on the third day, which I took care of with a fair amount of heavily-splendaed hot tea... I think I also watched Iron Man as a distraction. Yeah... hmm... yeah.

Now here’s something interesting: last year, when I broke my fast, I immediately began to binge for several days in a row. This year that’s not going to happen. For one thing, it hurts like a motherfucker. For another, when my boyfriend said something about vegan cooking being gross, I took it as a challenge (I’m actually not vegan though), so I bet him (I didn’t actually bet him anything) I could follow a vegan diet for all of fall term. That’s from Sept. 20th-Dec 11th. That’s really not that long a time, and I figure after that maybe I’ll try just being vegetarian. I’m sorry, but I love my dairy.

I was thinking of actually following the recommendations when I break my fast of sticking to juices and raw foods and, with the help of stuff like soups and hot cereals, gradually working up to other stuff. Yeah, for like... well, if I reach my goal then I will start having calories again just before school starts, and I figure I’ll do like two days on liquids/semi-liquids (soup is okay, or very watered/non-dairy-milked-down hot cereal, or pureed fruits/veggies, that sort of thing), then do some solid, raw foods for another three to five days, and then move into whatever my regular vegan diet will be. I want to know what are some good sources of protein for the first few days...? If I can still be fairly low carb for as long as possible when I’m eating again, that would be ideal. I know nuts and tofu and beans have decent protein. I need a blender, I think, so I can make tofu smoothies ^_^ that would be a pleasant snack/meal.

Fiber wraps, of course, and sprouts, and garlic sauce. Hummus, sriracha, avocados. Almond cheese, lentil soup, almond milk.

The only thing is that I will have to check back on my favorite safe foods to see how many of them are actually vegan. The fiber wraps, for example, and 0-cal strawberry syrup. I’m not really too concerned about eating natural or whole foods (I mean, like the syrup or diet soda... but I would still prefer my bread not to have corn syrup, you know?). Chemicals aren’t animal products, anyway. Obviously I won’t be having any of my 40cal hot dogs for a while, hahaha... ah, well, this should be fun. I intend to do a lot more cooking, and even some baking.

The thing is, if I really stick to it, it might just be too much of a pain in the ass to bother, and I end up not only eating less calorie-dense foods, but less of those overall. Awesome. I hope everything works out!

NOTE: I may make an exception for my birthday and Thanksgiving. Depending on how I feel. Siiiighhh I just want to get through this fast. I was thinking that if I felt up to it I would go indefinitely (or until it’s ‘complete’--fasting experts say that once the body is done detoxing and has run out of body to eat, hunger will return and the tongue will clear of its coating... ew) but I was reading how even though in ketosis the amount of protein the body consumes from itself is 5% of what it burns it would still make a person very weak to fast for a long time without actually eating any protein. And the weaker your muscles get on a fast the more easily you put back on weight, and you have a higher percentage of fat than before. So I should look out. I’m also going to try to be more diligent about walking to the PCC shuttle. That is a good goal. Light activity, three times a week? It may not be as much as is recommended, but it’s something. I’ll need some less water-vulnerable shoes and a backpack that won’t soak my books.

In a few days I will put on my black jeans and see what they do. I will be very sad if the waistband is still quite tight. We’ll see.

In other news, The... um... The... um... My Boyfriend's computer is fucked up, so now I can only talk to him over facebook mobile, and it is very unfortunate, and I haven't talked to him in like 10 hours... no wait, he just sent me a message! Also I was sleeping for some of those, haha. I guess it's a little pathetic, but whatever, fuck it.

Uh-oh... breakfast is served...

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