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8/30, 9 pm: 81 hours, or would be, had I not eaten yesterday and today. The good news: it is possible I haven’t knocked myself off the path toward ketosis. The bad news: I don’t really feel like I can say I’ve really kept fasting. Even so, I’m going to strive to either not eat or eat absolutely as little as possible at least until I get back to portland. Last night I had some chicken with a few bits of stuffing on it, some celery with a LOT of peanut butter, and a strawberry filled cookie (like a fig newton, but with strawberry) with milk. Because of the peanut butter and the milk, I’m going to estimate my intake at around a horrifying 700 cals. Truthfully, I think that I need to reset my count from 5 pm yesterday, because of the peanut butter and the cookie. Anyway, today I had about 1/4 cup each of green beans and rice-a-roni with chicken bits. That I will put at 200, although it may even be less. I’m pretty sure that there wouldn’t be enough carbs in that to set me back.

More good news is that although food tastes good and I could almost see myself bingeing, I’m not having that hard of a time not doing it. I ate today because dad asked me to have dinner with everyone. Rice-a-roni has about 320 cals per cup, so if I had 1/4 cup then that would be... 80 cals. Yeah, alright. So almost certainly less than 200. Good. Of course, I would also have eaten about 13g carbs, which is pretty high, but I’m thinking the added volume of the chicken maybe took it down a bit, and I hope that I’m overestimating the amount that I ate. Well, whatever, it is what it is.

It’s too bad I’m not just restricting right now. If I were aiming to restrict rather than to fast, I would feel pretty damn good. I wonder if I should just switch to indefinite hard restriction (>500), with fasting as convenient...? Numbers, numbers, oh!

Well, the internet says I probably burn around 2000 a day. Considering that my metabolism is probably lowered by restricting/fasting, I’m going to say it’s 1700. And if I burn 1200 a day (eating 500) then I would lose a pound every... um... 3500 divided by 1200 is a little under three... so about every three days. Now, if I burn 1700 a day, then it only takes about two days to lose a pound. So let’s say I’m eating about 2000 calories a week, TOPS. (Because I should not be eating the maximum, and I should not be eating every day). If I burn 1700 a day, that’s 11900 a week, which is 9900 once I subtract what I eat, and divided by 3500 is 2.8. So... I can expect to lose roughly 3 lbs a week if I eat no more than 2000 calories a week. And then, of course, if I were just fasting, I could lose 3.4 a week. So we’re talking about .6 lbs a week difference between fasting a hard restriction. But if you make if a month (4.3 weeks) then it’s 2.58 lbs difference, which.. still isn’t that much, is it? IS IT? I don’t know. Not like I could probably do it for a month... I mean, maybe I could... I don’t know... I just don’t know.

All’s I know is, I want to fit back into my black pants, VERY COMFORTABLY, by the time school starts. Semi-comfortably by the time I head home. It’s funny because last time I was here I was also trying to fit back into my black pants... only that pair was a good 4 sizes smaller than these ones are. Well, that’s alright. IT’S OKAY. Really. Gah.

Also, weird: my boyfriend has friended this journal. Hi, there, sweetling! But since I write first in my private journal, and don’t know if or when he keeps up with this one, I can still pretend nobody knows. Kind of. I guess I just want to let you know, Boyfriend, that even though I am vaguely aware that you might at some point read this, you’re getting the full version.


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